Wednesday, 4 February 2015

What Am I Gonna Do With This Pig?

  See this stupid miniature of a pig right here?


  What the hell is someone supposed to do with it? What kind of DM looks at a pig mini and goes "Oh yeah, I TOTALLY need this for my campaign!"???
  So anyway, the other day I went to visit some friends and for a change of pace I got to be a player again. (It's the ongoing game where I play Kelleck Mage-Hunter, my 'main' D&D character. More on that in an upcoming post!) Only problem was, I couldn't find the miniature I had for my character, so I walked to the nearby hobby store and got a new one. I looked around and I saw that stupid pig staring at me from behind the glass. Smiling. Waiting.
  "Bruno!" said the accursed pig, "We both know you'll never have any use for me in any sane D&D campaign, but doesn't the very fact that I actually exist as a mini, that I was created as a legit RPG product, just make you want to buy me?"
  I am not proud of it, but that stupid little piece of plastic cost me 2,50$. How do I justify this to myself? I've no choice. If I want to regain some self-respect, I must find some use for that stupid pig mini to convince myself there was a point in buying it!
  So here are some ideas of what I could do with this pig!

- The pig is not only an Awakened, talking pig, it also has mind-controlling powers and is a genius! He lays low, pretending to be a normal farm pig to most of the world while actually controlling a whole criminal empire from his barn! Those bandits who go collect protection money from the farmer? A cover story! They're actually going to see the boss to deliver their own shares and receive their orders for the coming week!

- The pig is actually a polymorphed princess! The farmer might be unaware, or he might be in on it! (Or even responsible!)

- The pig is actually a vampire halfling! He turns into a pig instead of a wolf...

- One of the player characters is cursed and turned into a pig!

- A prophecy claims that a pig with eyes of different color will have an important part to play in the next great war of your campaign! Have the PCs hear of that prophecy at some point, either from a credible source or from someone they will consider a charlatan or a lunatic. The only important part is that they remember it! One to three character levels later, the PCs come across such a pig!

You are now ready, stupid pig mini! Onwards to adventure!